1. Coin of the Realm
I remember being born.
How this is possible, I am not sure, but indeed I do have a vivid and visceral memory of my arrival, and perhaps more significantly, a memory of my conscious process as I assumed physical form. At that moment, as I balanced on the threshold of incarnation, I experienced complete freedom of choice–to be or not to be, you might say. And I was conflicted. To put it bluntly, I was not at all sure I wanted this. At least not at first. I felt ambivalent about transitioning from a form of awareness that held me in closeness with source and filled with a sense of unconditional love.
As I wavered on the edge of entry, two or three distinct presences stood with me, encouraging but not directing me. These felt to be family of a sort–familiar, loving and trusted, but certainly not physical or even identifiable in any anthropomorphic form. They are best described as fields of energy containing consciousness, extensions of something more, with an ability to connect directly and intelligently with me. Our interaction revolved around my 11th hour hesitation to incarnate, and gentle review of how I got to this point, with loving reminders of what my decision-making process had been.
Ultimately, I did choose to come into my body, as an act of love and a means of participation in this earthly possibility. It was a deliberate and conscious choice, one that I made without total assuredness, but with certain purpose to share and serve.
Having decided to take the leap, I quickly landed in a hospital delivery room. It seems as soon as I made the free choice of physical incarnation, then I was suddenly here, instantaneously, and not wherever my consciousness was before. And then, in short order, a clear sense of bewilderment washed over me, incomprehension, an inability to process, a kind of shock. I suppose there was a sort of physical shock, but that is not what I recall; rather, I remember the profound disorientation of time and space, a sudden feeling of confinement, a sense of being contained in some fashion that was not what I was used to, a kind of narrowing or contraction of reach in some way. I did not doubt my decision; I was simply overwhelmed by it.
My mother was unconscious, having been heavily sedated. The doctor was disinterested in me, thoroughly preoccupied with his clinical routine. I emerged into a room of pale green tile walls and hard surfaces, and it seemed gray in its lighting, not nearly the brilliance I was used to. As I experienced the sudden shift in perspective from wider awareness to the subjective view of this life, I was somewhat surprised that there was no welcoming committee! I remember feeling alone, but even more strongly I remember the feeling-sense of displacement, a kind of surprise that is nearly indescribable. I simply could not understand this new environment.
And then it happened: my first lesson in how to be here. Within 10 minutes, perhaps sooner, for it is hard to gauge time in this memory, I had my first experience of human engagement—and love. It came in the form of a nurse I was handed off to, who held me and looked into my eyes and lovingly welcomed me with personal connection as she cleaned and swaddled this newborn, surely just one of hundreds of infants she tended to in this way.
I remember this first experience of connection with tender appreciation. It was a reassuring and much valued introduction to the key ingredient in navigating incarnation: loving engagement with others. As she shared her inner radiance and love with me, this nurse showed me where to find the light I was used to and was missing as I first arrived. She gave me my bearings.
Alas, recalling my pre-birth consciousness has also come with some baggage: I have struggled at times with longing for what I remember—wanting to recapture the feeling-sense of unconditional love and comfort and expansion I experienced in that place of non-physical awareness. And so, from an early age, I have been motivated to figure out how to be here, and how to do it fully, without being distracted from living by the draw of memory. Mine has been an explorer’s journey of finding “home” in being human, and that is very much a practice of emergence and integration, merging memory and presence, here and now, and unfolding of self through incarnation. Sharing my discoveries is itself an example of incarnational spirituality: as we each share our own experience and insight, we open our hearts and engage each other, inviting collaboration in building incarnation for each of us.
Incarnational Lesson One: Love is coin of the realm, the medium of exchange between souls, the common currency of nonphysical and physical being. It is the bridge that connects us to our full selves and to others, the medium of relationship, and ultimately what enables us to integrate fully as incarnate spiritual beings. It is simple, really, but often we forget how simple it is: heart to heart acknowledgement. I see you. I honor you. I love you. I join you.
2. What’s This All About and What Am I Doing Here?
My recollection of my non-physical self, my origin, and my choice for birth was my initial, and a greatly formative, life experience. The memory is clear and compelling and has shaped my approach to and understanding of life and incarnation and purpose. But this is not to say I did not have to confront all the same questions we humans ask ourselves across a lifetime as we try to make sense of this embodiment: Who am I? Why am I here? What do I bring? How may I share? Actually, I suspect the memory made me more preoccupied with these questions and finding the answers.
My own experience and work with others shows me consistently and convincingly that we are spiritual beings of great prospect, and that the answers to these questions lie in believing the truth of our selves—who we each are as unique and creative individuals, recognizing the possibilities of incarnation and seizing those opportunities by taking action, and by sharing of ourselves.
The starting point: You’ve got to be you.
You are the only you; a perfect manifestation of physical form designed to enable you to express your truth and the uniqueness of your spirit, insight, and creativity. A healthy embrace of your self and the feeling-sense of your identity is the foundation for all you can and will do in this lifetime—for yourself and for others.
When you find and trust the certainty of your self–the one you know is you, that voice you recognize, then anything is possible. This is when you light up, when you feel motivation and excitement and anticipation and enthusiasm and joy. This is when the pieces fall into place.
So, how and where do we access this essential self that is our core generator?
Through engagement—with self, with others, and with the inner and outer worlds.
Children, especially young children, display their self-light easily and can remind us of our own light. Think of that luminous quality you see in a young child's face–what we might call innocence. It is actually self-light, soul shining forth, still close to source and as yet unencumbered.
I am reminded of a bit of self discovery and soul emergence my granddaughter displayed at age 5. She is a child of great imagination and equally grand intellect, not altogether comfortable with other people yet, but very fond of her menagerie of stuffed animals and imaginary friends. Her delight in and appreciation of animals is clearly an important part of her essential uniqueness.
She and her family were invited to another child’s birthday party. She was shy about engaging with too many others, but she was thrilled to discover their hosts had two dogs—real live ones! She was captivated by these pets and spent two hours engaging with them, touching, talking, and playing, truly transfixed, oblivious of the surrounding party events. My daughter, quite struck by the peace and comfort and joy that came over this child as she played with the dogs, described it thus: “It was as if I was watching her soul unfurl.” And indeed, she was—a view of emergence captured! What a beautiful way to describe the dynamic and light of self-alignment!
It was clear in watching my granddaughter that multiple incarnational developments were unfolding: her connection with the animals brought her into her self, and as her own light emerged, she radiated in a way that began to touch others; a kind of collective generative process was set into motion. All of this was made possible by the initial action by her parents of social engagement, which presented the child with a new environment and the novel opportunity to meet her live animal friends. Each of these elements were vital in setting the stage for her unfurling, and yet each so commonplace we might overlook and take for granted the very stuff of incarnational development and how it happens: connection, community, mutual support, unexpected discovery and consequent growth and delight.
This is what incarnation is about, how it is done: Being here, being together, creating together.
Just like my granddaughter, we each have our own direct connection to our “original self,” the part of us that is an extension from the creative, generative force or source, the oneness; the part that decided to incarnate and grow in new and as yet unrealized ways through incarnation. By making and taking opportunities to relate with people and environments, we provide our soul with (and support others’) needed conditions for “unfurling.” And this is a glorious thing.
As we each find our authentic self and discover and connect to the feeling sense of love there, we may then look outward and extend and express our unique identities from that place of knowing. This is a blessing for all of us.
Incarnational Lesson Two: I can only be me, and you can only be you and not who anyone else is or others wish us to be. And this is good, for we each bring something essential to the world that only we can bring. You are matchless, one-of-a-kind, and your individuality and unique gifts and insight are your great asset—and ours. Our interconnection supports our own self discovery and growth. Know thyself. You are a blessing. Discover your self. Be true to your self.
3. Spread Your Self Around
As a person with awareness of nonphysical, nonlinear, and unseen realms which hold great attraction, I have thought much about why to be here, physically incarnate, rather than in the nonphysical dimensions. I have found the answer lies in the creative possibility of life: a chance to make something new as we connect with this realm and with each other. As humans, we are in an exciting position to shape change and form through love. We are each here as a blessing, as an extension of the sacred, of source, embodied to create and bring beauty and growth in the world, each in our own unique ways, supported by the essence of self; to grow ourselves and this world in the spirit of love.
But to exercise our creative options we must take action to share our selves in some way.
The act of sharing your self is as simple as smiling, and easier and more important than you may realize. I am always impressed that just about everyone is willing to engage if you smile and engage first. We are beings with a desire to connect and to share. It is one of our best and distinguishing traits, essential to setting the stage for creative collaboration.
There is pure pleasure in engaging with another person in even the most modest contact: it lights up the circuits of the brain and heart, it makes us feel fuller, more connected to something bigger than us, more whole. It instills faith and hope, promotes smiling, and is downright therapeutic.
I spent part of my childhood in France, where it was (and still is) the custom upon entering a shop to say hello and exchange greetings, no matter who you are, and if you don’t it is considered rude. In Provence, it is typical when passing another person on the street to say “Bonjour” just because you are passing them, not because you know them. Imagine doing that the next time you walk down a street! It is so important we maintain these forms of contact, even as we become ever more focused on our digital devices, more isolated from each other, and are challenged to navigate divisive and sometimes combative social and political currents. Greeting is such a simple gesture—with such great impact: a greeting makes a connection both consciously with the mind and voice, face and body language, but it is more; it is an initial extension of self, and an acknowledgment to another of the sovereignty of his or her self. It is a connection of heart and soul. And think about this—it is much easier to greet with a smile than to greet without smiling (even with a mask on!) From this momentary contact, it comes naturally to then expand simple human connection.
Engagement–with others, with community, with environment–is about sharing the love and light of your soul as expressed through your self. I like to think of it as personal incarnational outreach. It can be as simple as the hello on the street or can rise to level of a calling. Or perhaps saying hello is a calling.
We live in a complex system, one in which ego has gained a strong foothold at the expense of true (soul) identity and wholeness. There are many among us who have lost their sense of personal worth, who have not been encouraged, indeed who have suffered sure and often intentional depreciation. This mass devaluation of individual value is our collective loss for it robs us of our human capital: the talents and generative potential of those who feel lost, insecure and afraid to stand in their uniqueness and full expression of self. We are in dire need of incarnational outreach services! Your life force, your heart field, your love offers reassurance and support—share it as often as you can.
If love is the medium of creation, then relationship is what shapes it into form. As a practice, incarnational spirituality invites us to help others emerge. As I appreciate another, I help him remember and self identify and express and respond, and in that course we each take another step into the fullness of our own incarnations and possibility. There is a kind of creative combustion that happens as we kindle the sacred flame within each other through the simple act of engagement.
I cannot think of a better example of how this works than to look to our families and our roles as parents, children and siblings. Families are holistic systems–microcosmic versions of the matrix of larger systems of community, nation, world, and universe, subject to the same developmental dynamics. A look at how we stand and create and engage and integrate within our families really brings home how the incarnational process works.
It is through our families that we begin to learn the meaning of self and identity. Family is most often our initial community experience and it is here that we first learn to see others and strive to be seen. It offers our first experiences with bonding and affection, safety and security, acceptance and love. Here we begin to learn about connection and participation and boundaries and how to negotiate all of this. And all the while we are still trying to come to understand our bodies and emotions and physical experience. Wow! What a lot going on! Family provides us with some of the most indescribably joyful and poignantly painful possibilities of life.
Family introduces us to the ups and downs of being human together. It is a veritable incarnational laboratory!
Given this context, good parenting is one of the most important acts of incarnational service we can offer. It can be harmful when family fails to provide the foundation we each need to emerge in healthy full self-identity and participation. Parenting invites us to model to our children how to come from the heart and embrace and respect and accept each other with appreciation and gratitude. At the same time, it provides us with a catalytic environment for yet more of our own growth. As we foster familial connection, teaching collaboration and contribution, we are making a difference–and giving our children the tools to make a difference as they go out into the world.
There are many viable frameworks for what constitutes “family” and we need not limit ourselves to conventional concepts. Family may be built out of many forms of community. I have found family is defined by our relationships rather than our bloodlines. My own family is a lively cross-cultural blend, ever expanding with more novelty. My husband and I came together with three very young children between us from prior partnerships, and then added a fourth of our own. Our oldest three children all lost their other parent in childhood. We put together a family stunned by traumatic loss, and then set about reconstructing our lives.
How do you trust loving again? How do you restore peace and trust to children who have been confronted with the ruthlessness of life so young?
We put our faith in the generative force of love and learned in real time and outcomes that it is our greatest resource. We bonded together with intention and respect and appreciation and gratitude, for each other and for life, changed by loss, but affirmatively choosing to make joy wherever possible, in each moment. We chose our family, and we chose to create and connect and share. We cross-adopted our children, blended our dissimilar cultures and holidays, invited each other’s families to join us, and engaged in living and loving with exuberance. And in so doing, we showed our children a way forward.
Each of us have been challenged and tried and shaped not only through our losses, but as well through our common understanding and collective resilience. We held each other in pain indescribably deep and blessed each other with the healing power of love. We encouraged each other—by going on together with optimism and hope, laughter and humor, wonder and awe. Even as we honored the past, with memories and stories and photos, and included our respective extended family networks in our lives, we chose to show our children how to delight in the present, in themselves, in each other, and in the world around us. Delight is contagious, you know, so as they felt it they could not help but share it.
My intent in raising my children has been to build their trust and sense of security in this world by nurturing their uniqueness, applauding and encouraging them in their dreams and desires and imagination and creative capabilities. My most often repeated instruction to my children has been: "You need to be you.” To truly support each of them in emerging into full self, I had to let go of any preconceived ideas I might have had about who they should be. I abandoned attachment to any particular outcome other than to see them grow in their original selves, and I did this happily for I knew this awakening in self is what would allow them to regain a sense of safety and to stand in strength and confidence, unafraid and empowered, and fully integrate in this life as loving and productive individuals. In order to spread themselves outward into community, they needed to first find safety in their own certainty of self.
Our familial interactions lay foundations for growing our selves and our children. Family—however configured–offers us an occasion to learn cherishment. I cherish my husband. I cherish my children. This teaches them to cherish. And from this understanding we move outward: I cherish my friends and community, I cherish my incarnational opportunity.
The connections we weave are the weft and warp of the fabric of our lives. As we strengthen and build the fibers and knit in new filaments, we strengthen the material of our incarnation. The richer the tapestry and the tighter the weave, the more securely we are held, both in times of pain and times of joy. We can shape our fabric; it is flexible, and resilient, too. It may catch us as a safety net, or unfurl as a parachute, or wrap us in warmth. Its strength and integrity hold us together in times of wear or tear, for every thread we have added to it makes it more durable.
Together we stitch together our material into great and textured quilts, interweaving contact and relationship into our lives to build our selves, our families, our communities, our nations and our world. This is how we forge alliances and trust. This is the means for sharing our wealth, our generative resources, our individual love and genius. This is world crafting.
Incarnational Lesson Three: Don’t hide your light under a bushel! Share your self with the world. Make waves—by allowing your self-light to spread outward. Bring your unique talents and gifts into motion as we create and initiate and transform together our environment and ourselves. Practice your power of blessing, manifestation, collaboration, and loving engagement with life. Cherish.
4. Eat Chocolate
Our greatest sense of peace and well-being as humans lies in the integration of our spiritual access with our physical bodies. We are spiritual beings in earthen bodies, and we balance in equipoise between heaven and earth (so to speak), inner and outer, ethereal and physical. In real and pragmatic terms, this means living and doing and being in our bodies. Not just our minds, and not only through our souls. We sometimes long to escape to disembodied places, whether non-physical spiritual or imaginary realms, for respite from the pain and effort of life. These are nice places to visit, but as long as we are incarnate, it is necessary to counterbalance with grounded presence. Otherwise the body begins to suffer, and emotional, social and physical stresses eventually compound into great discomfort from imbalance.
I am here. I chose to be here, and I want to experience here in every way I can, to explore physicality completely. While I am here, I am not focused on trying to get to another “not here” place. I am present.
Incarnation is a delectable sensory occasion grounded in physical engagement with the universe. It blesses us with the remarkable opportunity of physical perception, allowing us to experience through the senses rather than through nonphysical consciousness. Physicality gives us much: beauty (inner and outer), intelligence and mind, heart, the capacity for pleasure and for pain, and for compassion as well as a result of our own painful experiences. It allows us to express and share our creativity through all of the arts, including language. Our embodiment gives us the means to be who we are. Soul and body are equal partners in incarnation.
It is our physical senses that offer us the means for discovery, engagement, and then loving what we have discovered. One of the best things about being incarnate in this body is its sensation. And your sensation is yet another expression of you, as only you can experience your feeling-sense.
I have vivid memories of just how sensory experience worked to help me “make sense” of things in the world. When I was a little girl my father's work moved our family to France. Rather unexpectedly, and not prepared, I found myself plucked out of familiar and American surroundings and deposited in a small French village, feeling much as Dorothy must have felt when she found herself in Oz (and not unlike I felt when I arrived in that delivery room ten years earlier.) I was unable to rely upon my cognitive or conscious process to understand what was happening. First, I had to experience the new before I could integrate it. And the delivery mechanism for the new, for experiencing, was through my physical senses.
Having just completed a long transcontinental flight, my parents and all four of us children arrived exhausted at a small apartment hotel, the Hotel Mirabeau, a drab building still not recovered from the damage of World War II. Everything was unfamiliar and impressive for that very reason, beginning with a perilous looking old wrought iron cage elevator and strangers speaking words I did not understand. There were no groceries in the apartment when we arrived, and so my father asked the attendant downstairs to bring something to us for breakfast. Soon after, he arrived with steaming hot chocolate and a bundle of still warm flakey buttery crescent shaped rolls. With mild curiosity, but mostly hunger, I bit into my first croissant, and to this day I remember it as perhaps the most marvelous thing I have ever tasted. Darkly browned, not the light golden color generally seen nowadays, crispy and sharply curved into tight arcs, the ends touching each other in the middle--I made a mess, as my buttery fingers left crusty flakes everywhere. The hot chocolate was unlike any I had ever had.
Aha! I understood something about my surroundings in that moment. I couldn’t articulate what it was, but a connection had been made. It is these little, and often ephemeral, moments of sensory discovery that engage us with and develop our incarnations. And that is why they are important.
This full immersion sensory navigation started me on my way to understanding the importance of balancing my inner awareness with outer experience. I was plunged into a rich array of new experiences quickly, nearly overwhelming me at times, propelling me into a fast-paced learning and growth period. Within days I found myself in the stern Madame Hashim’s classroom, where only French was spoken, a language to which I had no exposure. I understood not one word, and I distinctly remember my mind’s inability to compute. I vacillated between a kind of dissociated inner process and being present, trying to figure out this new world. I absorbed the environment through both my inner and physical senses, but quickly discovered that my physical perception was most important in this setting. I mediated in this way for about a month, understanding nothing, but as each day passed, I became more aware that I didn’t need to understand with my mind, I could and would understand in other ways. And seemingly suddenly, one day I understood what was being said. It was as if it all clicked into place at once in whole comprehension.
I learned something else: the significance of the ephemeral. These Proustian moments of croissants and chocolate survive to inform self and identity, to inspire and shape expression, and move us each toward creative contribution. We pursue new experiences grounded in past sensory experience, and we learn to cook, or at least to taste, we travel and look and see new shapes and colors and places, works of art and nature and people; we love, we laugh, we cry and we engage in ways that offer new moments and insights and growth and expansion.
Sensory perception connects us to conscious awareness and thought. Our sensory organs serve us as matchless retrieval and input mechanisms, necessary to navigate incarnation. Physical engagement is a necessary condition that keeps the incarnational process moving. The richness of physicality–the voluptuousness and sometimes messiness of life—is a necessary ingredient for discovering self and celebrating others.
Our physical form allows us the visceral experiences of ego and emotion, both positive and negative, and allows us to feel attachment—to people, places, experiences and outcomes—in ways that are both wonderful and difficult. We are enlivened by joy and pleasure and challenged to grow by loss and pain.
We nourish our incarnations by seeking ways to experience through our bodies and its senses, just as we nourish our bodies with rest and food and exercise. If I were not here in this form, how would I know the sweetness of my child’s touch, the sound and happiness of laughter, the warmth of a friend’s embrace? How else could I know the incomparable elation of holding my newborn child, or experience the quality of love she engenders in me, to look upon her and feel the ineffable wonder of creation that produces a new life? How would I have discovered warm croissants, or the multi-sensory delight of really fine dark chocolate? Would I know the uncountable pleasures of making love? Is there any way I could know the warmth of the sun on my skin other than to be in my skin?
What are the simple things that you love or that give you pleasure? Perhaps the colors and scent of roses, the feel of swimming in salt water, the majesty of nature, playing with your dog, blue skies, running brooks, the smell of coffee, the feeling of dewy grass on bare feet, sunsets, baseball, laughter, holding hands, a song, fresh baked bread, sweet silence…and once you have attended to a list of your own, then remember to come back to these simple and life affirming experiences as often as you can. Linger with them, savor them. In other words, engage with the world around you eagerly and with a sense of conscious and feeling appreciation. This will help you remember your self, feel and feed your body, fill you, and fortify you in times of difficulty.
As you sample the sensory smorgasbord laid out before you, you will find innumerable likings – how and in what is subjective; what matters is that you discover for your self. Your enjoyment shines upon those around you and it is radiance fomented and fueled directly through your own incarnate sensory capacity.
Incarnational Lesson Four: Get physical. Taste! See! Touch! Smell! Hear! Move! Appreciate all around you. Be present to the fleeting moment. Feed your senses, and you will grow your self. Grow yourself and we grow, too. Savor the incarnational opportunity. Live Love. And Love Life.
5. Staying Connected
Being human is a balancing act. We are unavoidably preoccupied with our physicality, especially as we adjust to it, and exploring the possibilities and limits of physical embodiment. And yet, it is our soul that chose to incarnate, and it is the partnership between soul and body that allows us to generate for ourselves and others as we discover our individuality and expression. As we become absorbed with the practical aspects of living, we must remember to attend to our inner connections, for incarnational development lies in the integration of inner and outer, physical and non-physical as each of these parts come together in the wholeness of who we are and what we bring.
Soul is a channel of love and purpose that informs and inspires and guides us. It is a conduit we need to keep open and flowing, but we can become disconnected from it—often just from the distraction and busyness of life. Inner awareness is like a muscle that must be used to stay strong and flexible, and the way to exercise it is through some practice of attunement—to self and the sacred and subtle realms.
Inner attunement isn’t as foreign as you might think. It does not require special ability or training or tools or practices, for it is already part of you. We are always connected to the inner realm because we are part of it and it is part of us. What we need is to remember to check in with our awareness, each in our own ways.
Most of us have some idea that prayer or meditation or even lucid dreaming are viable practices for inner attunement, and so they are. But there are many other ways to get there! And it is so much simpler than we have been taught to believe. In my work with individuals, I am always struck with how easily so many doubt their own capacities to access intuitive awareness; yet, I can say that without exception I have never met anyone who couldn’t find his inner voice. It is just a matter of knowing what inner access means and how to find a doorway.
We knew where the doorway was when we first arrived in these bodies, and we traveled back and forth with ease, traversing with lingering pre-birth awareness and imagination. As children, our imaginations are boundless, flexible and fluid, and we are able to think magically. One of my favorite approaches to the subtle inner realms is through imagination. Returning to that kind of expansive play is a great practice for attunement. As humans we are adept imagineers, able to suspend reality naturally, and without much effort. Think of how you follow the thread of a daydream—and there you are, exploring imaginal realms! These imaginal realms share many characteristics with the subtle realms, especially in how we can approach and relate to them, and practice in the imaginal serves to refine our inner access skills. And it is fun! I join my young grandchildren gleefully as they travel to many fantastical places on a daily basis, and I see how this maintains and nurtures their inner connections. In exploring through imagination, they uncover and grow their selves as they apply new ideas in play and dream up even more novel inventions along the way. Imaginal play is a foundation for discovery, insight, and breakthrough.
My inner contacts arrive often through focused meditation—but equally often without focus as I am walking in the woods or gardening, simply enjoying the fresh air and the peace and beauty of nature, or listening to music, or watching waves break on a beach.
Inner access comes through finding a way into your self, and whatever way works for you is the right way. The key is to find a means to limit stimuli from external sources, to quiet the noise of our lives, and take a break. And to do so regularly, even if only for a few minutes at a time.
You are indeed always in contact with the inner world, but you need to remember to shift your state of mind and get your inner wavelengths open to know it.
Stop and take a quiet moment and go into yourself, without agenda or expectation, just settle into stillness with quiet mind. Listen to your body; notice your physical and emotional responses, for they are tools of discernment. Pay attention to your dreams and imagination, they often contain markers as you find your bearings. Pay attention to what comes up: what do you feel or see or know?
It is in this way that I find the voice that I know is mine and feel assurance and safety and comfort as I navigate incarnation. Inner connection helps me remember who I am, and in this felt self-recognition I find certainty, confidence and inspiration. And most of all it allows me to know the expansiveness of my heart. This is attunement.
Incarnational Lesson Five: Exercise your inner access skills. Balancing your inner and outer awareness makes you stronger in both fields. Connection with your quiet inner self allows you to keep open your channel of love. Staying connected to the nonphysical realms helps make us whole.
6. Making a Difference
We come into life and learn. Through our incarnational development, we find our selves and our ability to love and serve and express compassion and understand truth and integrity. But there is more to it than that. We come as creators, initiators, makers. We are each sources of spiritual energy, each uniquely configured to shape our own lives with intention and to bring blessings to ourselves, to others and to the world. Human beings are living sources of spiritual energy, and we arrive here in this form with the chance to direct our own creative abilities in original and positive ways.
We each make a difference. First by arriving here, by being physically present. We come into the world each with our own talents and potential, each a personification of a distinct aspect of the universe and ready to participate in creating. It is essential that we recognize the importance and strengths of our individual selves as creators and generators of the future.
We assume the dense form of human matter in anticipation of the opportunity to explore our essence, our souls, through a new medium, a material form. The idea is not to spend our embodied time waiting to get out or to get somewhere else, but rather, to bring something, to add something, to participate in the unfolding of creation here, and at the same time add to our own understanding, all by and through our unique presence and being.
Imagine you are an artist. Your body, your mind, your heart and its field, and your physical senses of touch, feel, smell, taste, vision and hearing are your means of expression. This life, this beautiful, gritty, complicated, poignant, dazzling and messy mass of persevering matter and creation is both your toolbox and your canvas. What will you make? How does the “difference” that is you manifest?
And, we make a difference together. We do not work alone. My expression is informed by yours. As you touch me, then you touch each person I touch. There is great power and prospect in our collaboration, for as we interact and ally our selves, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. We do best together, in partnership and community. Collaboration and service spark our own growth and development and help move us towards personal and systemic integration.
As we move through this life, we often ask: What do I bring? What action am I called to take? What are my rules of engagement? Who may I collaborate with? Who and where is my community? And one of my most frequent queries: how do I answer these questions?
Check your blueprint. I think of each of us as having a passive and an active component: the potentiality and its implementation. We arrive as the incarnation of a complex soul, with great capacity and possibility—a good blueprint, to be sure. But action is required to move towards wholeness, both for ourselves and for the world we live in. We are doers.
The possibilities for contribution, sharing, engagement—your action—are unlimited. It depends on you. Your mark need not be made in civil or social causes; it could be made in parenting or gardening or cooking or inventing or educating or healing or smiling or myriad other ways to express yourself as only you can do. Because you are one of a kind. Callings come in many shapes and sizes, and none is greater than another. What matters is that yours is yours, and you respond to your own; it is the unique expression of your soul in unison with your individual identity. What is important is that you initiate action in some form, no matter how small, whether or not it is seen by anyone else, to realize your blueprint, to bring your soul into fuller expression through your physical self and identity, to bring what only you can bring to us: the light of you.
Don’t underestimate yourself. Remember, the future lies in your thoughts and actions. When you share your idealism and hope and give of your self, then we are all touched, and your unique contribution moves us forward. We each have the potential to generate change. It starts first with personal intention, the root of your own action, and your own action is what then ripples out and influences those around you and the greater field beyond. Even when you think you are acting alone, you are never alone because your thoughts and actions have life and trajectory and reach others.
As you extend a hand to others, you also nurture your self. I find this is true over and over in my own life. In my work, I often help others to find a sense of self, guiding them to connect up to that awareness in support of emergence and integration between soul and personal identity. And in the process, I know my self. It can be a delicate business, as remembering and recognizing and knowing self may involve some reframing of self-concept. But we have each other; we are able to support each other in this process of incarnation, and it is important to have that support, to feel sureness and safety and comfort as we explore and discover.
So why are you here? Remember, the answer lies in your self and your connection with heart-centered living and engagement, loving and giving, informed by sacred soul, not controlled by ego and its instruments–emotions such as fear, anger, desire.
Most of all, remember what really matters:
Love. Life. Laughter. Joy. Giving. Doing. Sharing. Cherishing.
Incarnational Lesson Six: Recognize you are a creator. We grow as we share our selves and our loving, creative intentions. Participation and partnership serve and empower and transform us. You are an agent of change. Together we co-create.