By Deborah Koff Chapin
Portals of Presence is the fruit of a lifetime’s work. From my earliest memory, the drawing of faces has been central to my psyche. Over the years it has become a core practice through which I center myself and attune to deeper levels of awareness. One of my first memories is of drawing a face. I was about 2. years old. Sitting at a table, I picked up a crayon and spoke out loud as I drew. “Here is Stevie’s BIG eyes, and his BIG nose, and his BIG mouth!” I have quite a visceral memory of the magic of bringing a face into being out of nothing.
At fourteen years old, I was teaching myself to draw by copying fashion models in magazines. A display featuring fur coats included a fur-clad indigenous child staring out from the page. This was not a fashion face. It felt to me like this child was holding the pain of all the children of the world. I got my charcoal pencil, placed a large sheet of paper on the floor, and began to draw. As the child’s face took form on the page, I felt it coming alive. Feeling such a strong presence come though my drawing brought me to the edge of fear. I walked around it, repeating over “Why are you looking at me? Why are you looking at me?” This moment revealed the presence and power that can come through the drawing of a face.
When I went to art school, I focused on minimalist abstract painting, which was the predominant style in the art world at that time. Once, in my final year, I picked up a pen and began doodling silly little faces. I wrote on the page “What’s wrong with drawing faces?” I tucked the embarrassing piece of paper away. But something was gestating in my psyche, a seed of what was to come.
On my very last day in art school in 1974, I was helping a friend clean up in the print shop. Before wiping the ink off a glass plate, I placed a paper towel down and playfully moved my fingertips around on it. Lifting the paper off the ink, I saw the imprint of my touch on its underside — lines coming directly from my fingertips! I laughed ecstatically with this discovery. Gestures moved through my hands and onto successive paper towels. Soon the organic marks took form as faces. Childlike and natural, they were direct imprints of my being on paper.
Although this experience appeared to be simple play, beneath the surface I sensed something profound. This drawing process was emerging into this moment from a realm outside of time. It had a purpose that was larger than my personal use. I had a knowing that this direct and fluid art form was meant to serve an evolving human consciousness. I felt called to share it with others.
But first, Touch Drawing became my own lifeline. During difficult times, I would turn to the drawing board to release emotions. I witnessed my feelings as they poured through my hands onto the page. This enabled me to move through a range of states without judgment. At the end of a session, I would reflect upon a series of drawings depicting the transformation of my psyche. The process left me feeling clear and whole.
As time went by, the personal emotional process faded as I began to draw from a more transpersonal impulse. It was like dipping my hands into a universal pool and pulling out archetypal forms and figures. I began to put more time into the crafting of each Touch Drawing, enriching the images with layers of color. This is the body of work out of which the 120 SoulCards were selected. Through this format, my art has found its way into the hands and hearts of people all over the world.
Though all my images are created through Touch Drawing, the forming of faces has been a centering practice. It provides a simple, centering pattern that is infinitely variable. As I bring a face into form, I am gazing into a mirror that takes me beyond myself. I dab paint onto a board, roll it smooth and lay a sheet of paper upon it. Focusing my attention inward, I note subtle sensations within my face. I place both hands on the paper and move them in accordance with the patterns I am feeling. Lifting the paper off the inked board, I see the imprint on the underside created by the pressure of my touch. A unique face has come into form on the page. I lay that drawing aside, roll the board smooth, place another paper upon it, and begin again. When I am in the zone, the drawing board feels like a portal through which the being depicted can peak into our world.
When am I drawing my self and when am I drawing another? This is a question I ponder. In the midst of drawing a face, self awareness is a sensory tool. As a point of contact with life, I experience impressions in my own being that are expressive of the other. I have practiced this over many years in the form of Inner Portraits. These are sessions in which I sit in the presence of a person with the intention of creating drawings for them. We begin by setting intentions and gazing into each other’s faces. I then enter an intensive drawing session, creating 12-16 drawings in a couple of hours. As I gaze at each successive blank sheet, I sit in a moment of emptiness.
Within moments, I feel the initiating impulse for the next drawing. When reflecting upon the drawings, the subject of the Inner Portrait often recognizes aspects of their psyche. Over the years, I have come to trust this process. It encompasses more than my conscious mind can comprehend.
The practice of drawing from a sense of connection has expanded beyond one-on-one sessions with individuals. I love creating images inspired by powerful places and events. I have drawn at ancient sites such as the stone circles of Callenish in Scotland and Avebury in England. I have sat on the cold stone floors of Chartres Cathedral in France and Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, and in the Mayan temples of Tikal and Uaxactun in Guatemala. I have carried drawing materials when hiking in the alpine mountains of the North Cascade Range in Washington State, into a rain forest in Costa Rica, and within the ancient Llanfeugan Yew tree circle in Wales. I have also been interpretive artist at many events including the Parliament of the World’s Religions, the Dawn of Interspirituality, and the Fairy and Human Relations Congress.
This has enabled me to create in the presence of inspiring people and lineage carriers such as the His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the Mevlevi Whirling Dervishes, indigenous elders and many others. And of course I have drawn during many classes with David. So many faces have passed through my fingertips over the years! Again and again I have wondered what I should do with all these faces. Is there a reason they have come through my fingertips? Is there a purpose the beings they depict want to serve? The idea of creating a new deck with only faces emerged in the early 2000’s. At times it would feel so real, but then the idea would fade away. Finally the time feels right to offer these faces to the world.
I trust that Portals of Presence will find a way into the hands and hearts of people who will enliven them, and be enlivened by them. My hope and prayer is that this set of cards contributes to a deepening relationship with life, and helps us find our way through these transformational times.
Portals of Presence will be available in early March, 2021. Visit Deborah’s website to learn more