By Julie Spangler
My friend Dorothy Maclean celebrates her 100th birthday this January. A self-effacing Canadian, this shy woman never got used to being sought out as a voice of wisdom teachings.
Was this a goal Dorothy set out to achieve? Did she imagine that she would travel the world, speaking to thousands and leading workshops encouraging people to listen to “the still voice within”, and to believe in their intuitive connections with unseen beings? She did not. In fact, Dorothy was so shy, even as a 50-year-old, she almost literally had to be pushed onto a stage to speak publicly for the first time.
What was it that called her to speak publicly? She had a gift to offer - one that had taken decades for her to discover and develop. Dorothy had learned to listen to her inner voice, her “God Within”, which gave her wise insights, deepening her understanding of herself and of the relationship between human and Spirit. It was not her public work as a secretary that made her famous. It was her inner work, and her courage to share not only her wisdom but also her vulnerability – her imperfections as a human and her aspirations to improve – that led people to trust her insights and experiences.
Dorothy didn’t enter into life with a path planned out ahead of her, as some people seem to be. A call to a certain future may show up in childhood and never waiver - a child fascinated by how the world works then becomes a Nobel Prize winning biologist. Or one who wants to grow up to be a teacher, pursuing that path through life to enlighten minds with the gift of knowledge. Dorothy wanted to be an artist but being of practical mind, she chose secretarial training as her means to make her way. (Late in life, she did go to art school for her own enjoyment; but the visual arts were not the gift she ultimately gave to her world.) I think it is safe to say that a clear call to a certain career in life is rare. We may feel an inclination toward certain interests, but it is the steps we take through our lives that set our direction, and it is the song of our soul that makes the music that patterns the steps of our dance.
Personally, I don’t remember ever having a childhood dream for my future. There wasn’t any particular vision of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I loved my world, and there were many things I loved to do, but there was nothing that shouted loudly “HERE! Here is where you must look to your future.” Mostly I was happy being in nature; being with people; just being. The closest I ever came to being shown definite direction toward my future was ironically an inner message to wait. I was a teenager, listening to a family conversation about spirituality. I wondered silently to myself, "Why am I not exploring this with them?" when I heard an inner voice say clearly, "It is not time."
My particular future unfolded one step at a time, one hint at a time, one feeling of rightness at a time. It didn’t call me to a named or recognized career. More, I was called to “be”. Dorothy would likely find commonality with this. She was not called to be a secretary, though that is how she made her living. She worked as a secretary through the steps of her life from her first inner encounter with the Sufi teacher Hazrat Inayat Khan to the call of the God Within and to the surprise of the first contact with the Pea Deva. This inner life of Dorothy’s, along with that of Eileen and Peter Caddy, provided the foundations of the Findhorn Foundation community.
My steps toward “rightness” took me to Findhorn when I was 20, the place where I found my call to support the unfoldment of spirit in the world. This call was a broad one without specifics but was in keeping with my inner sense of “being”. I stumbled into singing with a group that named ourselves the New Troubadours, and it was through the work I did in the community and with the Troubadours that I connected with my spiritual family and with my life partner – those who founded Lorian together.
This was not a directed call to begin a non-profit dedicated to the unfoldment of Incarnational Spirituality. The building of Lorian was more like the unfolding of a flower – a natural, slow blooming in response to a stirring presence of joy and creativity we felt when the founding group was together. I was called to be with this group. Again, for me, it was not so much a call to do, but a call to participate. Here was home. Here was family. Here was where I belonged. Here was my inner call to direction, to help create the space for something new to land in human consciousness. And it has taken decades of living and being to externalize this call. Most of those decades, for me, have been spent being support. Others in Lorian have been more creative or outwardly productive. But those who create need those who pitch in and help in whatever ways are needed. Support is also a calling, and nurturing a field of presence is also a support.
As the decades have passed, I have grown in my understanding of how to “be” – this is not a passive, uninvolved state. I have learned how to be in a way that gives - how to be a generative presence that can bring love into the world where I stand. And I have learned to value this as a service.
Dorothy’s dedication to service led her to leave Findhorn with the Lorians when we went to America in 1973. As we pursued our intent to share the consciousness of communion and community we experienced at Findhorn with a larger audience, we all found ourselves giving talks and workshops. Dorothy, with our support, was gently pushed into sharing her story publicly, launching her global service of introducing her audiences to the existence of the Devas, and to the possibilities of knowing the God Within. She did not set out to embark on this path. It emerged from her focus on what she loved, which was following her commitment to the love of God into service to her world. People reached out to her for her insight, and she responded.
My steps, following the flow of my life, led me to teach also, and to the joy of inviting people to discover their capacity to “be” – to be generative; to be a source of love in the world; to be standing in their whole self whatever they do and wherever they are; to be at peace with who they are and to value what they do. Whatever we are called to do, at the heart of it is our capacity to be who we are – souls incarnate, walking on the earth.
We don’t have to know where we are going in life. If we listen and follow our joy, follow our hearts, we will be following a call, and it may only be when we look back that we see what gifts we have brought.