David's Desk is my opportunity to share thoughts and tools for the spiritual journey. These letters are my personal insights and opinions and do not necessarily reflect the sentiments or thoughts of any other person in Lorian or of Lorian as a whole. If you wish to share this letter with others, please feel free to do so; however, the material is ©2019 by David Spangler. If you no longer wish to receive these letters, please let us know at info@Lorian.org.
As quarantining began in Washington State and in the neighborhood where I live—only a dozen miles from Kirkland which for a time was the tragic epicenter of the pandemic in the United States—acts of kindness began appearing immediately. People began reaching out to each other, offering volunteer services like child care for working parents and grocery deliveries; one enterprising group even set up a crowdfunding source to raise money to help those hourly workers being told to go home and who were in jeopardy of losing their incomes. A friend of mine continues to go out for coffee (take-out only!) but pays the barista an extra-large tip to help keep his favorite coffee shop in business.
In Italy and Germany, people are singing to each other and conducting concerts from their balconies and porches. In Canada, a movement of “caremongering” has been spreading across that country via social media, enlisting a growing number of people in efforts to care for each other and for the most medically and economically vulnerable.
There is no doubt that all our health-care professionals are our primary defenders against the coronavirus. In military language, medicine is the frontline in saving lives. But kindness is a front as well, one where each of us can step up and make a difference, even if we don’t know a thermometer from a stethoscope or flinch at the thought of hospitals. In a time of fear and “social distancing,” it may be one of the most important fronts of all.
This pandemic is tragic, particularly for those whose loved ones have died or are dying, or for those who may find themselves losing what little they already had, not knowing how to pay their rent or feed their children. This is beyond question. At the same time, it may be offering us an important gift. For all our vaunted digital connectedness through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social networking media, there has been a growing sense in our society that we are actually drifting apart. There is no question we have been living in an increasingly polarized time, a condition sadly and irresponsibly exacerbated by political and economic leaders around the world who have been feeding this polarization to enhance their own positions. Economic inequality has been growing unconscionably, stoking a sense of disconnectedness, anger, and despair. The spread of an “us vs them” mentality has been its own kind of pandemic across the globe. In truth, we’ve already been suffering from a kind of social distancing, one that could prove just as dangerous to the health and wholeness of our societies as anything from the microbial world.
In this regard, the spontaneous springing forth of determined acts of kindness may become our saving grace, if it becomes a new normal. Love and compassion are profound forces of healing, certainly of the mind and heart. Kindness boosts our social immune system, rendering it more resistant to infections of meanness and divisiveness that break down our civic health; to the extent it reduces fear, it can also have a positive effect upon our physical immune system.
The wonderful thing is that kindness is a choice any of us can make at any time. It doesn’t require training in some discipline. It doesn’t require special equipment. It only requires an open heart that can honor others and care for their well-being. It also doesn’t require grand and dramatic gestures; sometimes, just a smile can work miracles. (But don’t hold back from the dramatic gesture if it’s seems warranted and you can do it!)
I’ve seen many people on television and in print commenting that what we need to practice isn’t social distancing but physical distancing, keeping the bonds of our connectedness together intact even as we stand six feet apart. As a friend of mine wrote to me, “we need to practice social nearness-ing!” I agree.
Kindness is what fills in the gaps that can arise when we distance ourselves physically. Kindness is “social nearness-ing.” If medicine is the frontline protecting our bodies, kindness is the front protecting our hearts and our souls.