By Julie Spangler
"Your calling is to be here. There is no higher mission, for each of us is a gateway that can open to allow the Beloved to step through. To give expression to the Beloved, to be that gateway, is why the universe appeared. It is the ultimate Call." —David Spangler
One day when my daughter Kaiti was about 5 years old we were driving home together, just the two of us. As often happens at such times when we are alone with our children, our conversation was more intimate than usual. Sometimes personally, sometimes philosophically, sometimes answering questions. . .. The question that came up that day was "Who is your favorite child?"
Anyone who has more than one child does their best to not play favorites. For me, with our four kids, there was not one that was better than another. Sure they were all different from each other, and each provided his or her own challenges designed to push parental buttons. But each one is equally treasured for who they are, unique and individual. And each child reflected his and her own individuality even before birth, each one coming in with their own personality and their own different individual needs.
So I was always aware that this particular child came in with a need to feel special. Kaiti once told me that she, the third among four, should have been an only child. I thought this recognition of her need for complete attention was a remarkably astute bit of self awareness for one so young. (And I reminded her that in that case she should have chosen a different family, as her brothers were here first. . .which gave her pause.)
So this day, on this drive, when this child asked me, "Who do you love the most?". . . many responses ran through my mind: the diplomatic "I have no favorite, of course!"; the tease, "Aidan!" (wink, wink), the affirming, "You are my favorite.", or even the tuneful, "The one I am with." What I did instead was ask her a question back. "Are you wanting me to say you, sweetie?"
Her answer surprised me a bit at first, but then it didn't. "No!" she said, tearing up, "Because I would feel bad for the others if you loved me more!" We went on to discuss the different ways we love and the ways we can love different people. The love may not be exactly the same, but it is quantitatively just as much.
We all need to feel that we matter. Some traditions liken this need to egotism, an over-inflated sense of self which we must guard against: "I need to be more important than everyone else." It is maybe there in some part of the ID or even part of the survival coding in our DNA. But I think the need to matter is also embedded in the inborn function which creates identity— that part of us which can say not only "I AM" but also "I AM HERE". It gives rise to the need to be seen, to be loved, and is a response to the deep innate need to be part of something that is bigger than us.
In his book The Call, David Spangler says that we matter because we are here and especially when we can be fully consciously here. The call to be part of something bigger than ourselves is actually the call that was answered by us when we took life. And that call is, to quote David, " the call to treasure and value and love one another and all the other creatures and things of the earth. It is the call to acknowledge and to act from that knowledge that each person is just as valued and just as loved as the next, and all are invited to participate in the communion of that love. . .."
A deep call from spirit may not be a call to do something specific and spectacular. It may simply be a call to show up and love. In our home, which ever of our children shows up when the front door opens and they come in, a warm and loving shout of greeting meets them. When we show up, love is there to greet us, and we matter.
"The call actually comes from the person standing in front of you, who in their heart of hearts is saying "Will you ...value me?...Will you see the sacred in me, the sovereignty in me? It is my action in response to that call that draws me into a loving space. It is what opens me to experience the background call of the universe." —David Spangler
Do you feel that you are of value to our world and that you have something to contribute? Would you like to deepen your understanding of how you matter? Join us on March 1 for a free teleclass on The Journey Into Fire, where we will explore our unique, human journey. For more information or to sign-up, click here.